Starting from Mincha last Shabbos afternoon, there has been an idea that, no matter how hard I try to let pass by, I just cannot seem to shake – and I’m not necessarily complaining about it either! This year has been nothing short of incredible for me as it pertains to a certain Whatsapp group/email list/Telegram channel that I started back in January. As word spread of its existence, the number of subscribers expanded at an amazing clip, and I have been blown away by the amount of feedback that it has received. Not to mention the countless encounters and subsequent relationships that I have been fortunate to have developed – all on account of a unique passion for music that is shared by so many of us across the globe.
Equal to the amount of appreciation that I feel towards each and every one of you, there is a feeling of smallness, an unworthiness of sorts, that I think comes along with any great achievement. Are there others who can reach a far greater number of people? Yes, of course there are. Could a lot of people sit and write about the music they love? Absolutely, without a doubt! I am convinced that Hashem has given me the right amount of mazal at exactly the right time (as He is wont to do), and has allowed me to succeed in ways that are nothing short of miraculous.
The only part of the equation that I am unsure of is: why?
In what merit has this taken place? For what reason has He put me in position to pursue a passion that has been a part of my life since before I can recall? So, while I ponder this “existential dilemma,” allow me to share with you the song that a lot of you saw coming since around the same time I did, last Shabbos afternoon.
This truly epic masterpiece was composed by famed singer/songwriter Yonatan Razel and quickly rose to the top of the charts after its release on his 2012 album, Bein Hatzlilim. Its words are found in this week’s parsha, Parshas Vayishlach, and are the words spoken by Yaakov Avinu in his prayer to Hashem for his continued safety and Heavenly support. Katonti – I am small; I am unworthy of Your never-ending kindness, Hashem. What You do for me far outweighs what I actually deserve. It is for this reason that I turn to You now, and ask that You please continue to provide me with the Divine guidance and care that You have granted me until now.
Yonatan says:
My grandfather jumped off a train on the way to one of the camps in Holland, ran all night with almost nothing on his body, and was saved miraculously by Hashem. He decided to make aliyah, come to Israel and find the job. The year was 1952. When he was in Israel, he got a telegram from Queen Juliana of the Netherlands asking him to come and be the private Latin and Greek tutor for her daughters, Beatrix, Irene, Margriet and Christina.
My grandfather, who by the way was not a religious Jew, wrote back to her (after three days of not sleeping), “I’m a Jew and my place is in Israel. Thank you for the offer.”
Before he died, he called me to his bed and said, “Yonatan, I feel like Yaakov. When he ran away from his brother, he had nothing on his body, but when he came back to meet his brother, he had servants and money and fame.”
And that’s when I composed the song “Katonti mikol hachasadim.”
These words resonate in all of us, not just in me I’m sure, but express the feeling that has accompanied me all week and will accompany me yet, as I continue on this magnificent musical journey.
Wishing all of you a very noteworthy Shabbos!
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